Always
by Alexawynters
Summary: They were supposed to be best friends, always. Somehow that fell apart. Demi/Selena Alex/Sonny Rated T for mentions of cutting.


Always

Disclaimer: What I would give to own Demi and Selena.. or to have them own me. Wow that sounded wrong. Actually I knew it sounded wrong before I said it but I was amused lol. Sadly, this is not the case :( oh well.

Author's Note: I wanna say they're about 18?? The end felt repetitive to me. Either I posted it already in a fic, or its chillin in one thats just in my documents folder that hasn't been posted yet. Idk. So, I deleted it from this. The ending you see here isn't the original. If you want me to post it, just say so. Its happy and cheesy and blah. Also, it ends happier than it starts I pwoooomise. And if you can think of a better title, PLEASE tell me. Read and review please.

Selena sat on the edge of the tub, her headphones blaring in her ears. She wanted to drown out her thoughts, but she was failing in her endeavor. Memories, thoughts and feelings were tumbling around in her head faster than Selena could adequately process them. It was just too much. Everything was too much. She couldn't take it anymore, and so Selena sat there on the edge of the tub, killing her eardrums and wishing it was her life instead, left without her best friend, and only her thoughts to torment her.

--

You're never here. I mean, you're here, but like, not really. Please stop lying to me, giving me false hope with your empty promises. You say you love me but any time I need you, you're conveniently absent. Why is it, you are the one person who is supposed to be there for me no matter what, yet I always find myself having to search for someone else to turn to when I'm in need?

Then when I even asked flat out for help, you are always busy. I think it's a sign from God, like maybe he's trying to spare me the pain of whatever it is you might say. I'm falling apart at the seams, clutching at any possible cure, and everyone can see it but you.

We're supposed to be best friends, able to tell each other everything. We haven't spoken in months and what few words we have exchanged were anything but honest. Sometimes I wonder if you really even care anymore. You would have to be blind not to see these signs.

You ignored my first plea for help. Did you know I was hospitalized for a week? Suicide watch. That was fun. It's funny, everyone always thought you were the cutter.

And I just absolutely love being locked in a white padded room with doctors and nurses looking at me with that god-awful mixture of pity and disgust. Then theres the other patients. I learned a thing or two from them, you know. How to do it better next time, how to not get caught, and how to make it relatively painless. That place is supposed to help make you better. Newsflash: It doesn't. Being surrounded by truly disturbed people as well as those disgusting doctors, just makes you really want to get better, if only to get the hell away. I don't care what anyone says, that place will leave you worse off than before you went in.

Not that you care. You don't know. You don't even care to ask where I was, or why I dropped off the face of the planet for an entire week. Lord knows I've dropped hints. I want you to ask. I want you to care, but it's pointless, isn't it? You don't give a shit. You haven't for a long time, and I can't wait anymore for you to come and save me. It's too late now, and soon nothing will even matter. I hope you know how much I loved you, adored you. I hope it kills you inside to know that you've lost me, but somehow I don't think you'll even be fazed.. Goodbye Demi.

--

Selena laid herself in the empty tub, and switched her playlist to Demi's songs. With the sound of her best friend's voice ringing in her ears, Selena picked up the razor and placed it to her wrist. This was it. There was no going back now. Selena had lost the one person she had ever really cared about and she had nothing left. She closed her eyes.

As Selena felt the metal kiss her skin, she could have sworn she heard Demi call out her name. But that wasn't possible and Selena shoved the fleeting thought away and marked it as wishful thinking. She tried to press the razor deeper, but something was stopping her. Something warm.

The Wizard's star opened her eyes and found herself gazing into the chocolate orbs Selena had come to know so well over the years. Before her was the one and only Demi Munroe, eyes filled with tears. Apparently she was saying something because her lips were moving. Selena couldn't hear over the music. She tilted her head quizzically, not quite able to believe what she was seeing.

Demi seemed to catch on that Selena couldn't hear her, and tugged the earphones out of her bestfriend's ears. "What the FUCK, Lena?!"

Selena still didn't respond, her mind convinced that this wasn't real. That she had done the deed, and had lost so much blood that she was now hallucinating. "Demi?" she whispered, dazed.

Demi stared at the older girl like she had just developed three heads. "Yes, it's me, Demi. Now what the fuck were you thinking? Are you stupid? Why would you do this? God, Lena, you're so selfish."

That snapped Selena out of her daze. "Selfish? _I'm_ selfish?" she scoffed.

"Yes you're selfish! How could you do this? Do you only care about yourself that you would throw away your own life, and not think about how it would affect others? What about all those kids around the world who look up to you? What about Taylor (Swift)? What about your mom?" Demi continued, her voice cracking. "What.. What about me?"

All the anger Selena previously felt evaporated and was replaced with bitterness. She turned away from the younger girl, choosing instead to look at a particularly interesting piece of bathroom tile. "What about you? Why would you even care? Hell, I bet you wouldn't even notice I was gone until someone asked you in an interview about it."

The rockstar jerked back as if burned. Demi felt like Selena had just taken a particularly blunt knife and stabbed it through her broken heart. What hurt the most though was Demi knew Selena was partly right. Demi had been so lost in her own little La La Land that had she not decided to pay Selena a visit tonight, she likely wouldn't have known for a while after it was too late.

"Selena I-" her voice cut off, and Demi was temporarily unable to continue. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "I know, I know I haven't been here for you lately."

Selena snorted.

Demi continued as though she hadn't heard it. "I did the one thing I promised I would never do. I let my career get the best of me, and I abandoned the only thing worth caring about. Sel, I'm sorry. For everything, but please, you can't do this! I promise I won't make the same mistake twice. You are the most important thing in my life Lena, and I promise to spend the rest of my life proving this to you. I know you don't have any possible reason to believe me, but please give me a chance to show you that I'm the old me again."

Demi pulled Selena into her arms, grateful when the actress didn't put up a fuss. The scene would look weird to anyone who didn't know what was going on. Here the two girls were, sitting in an empty bathtub in the middle of the night. Selena was curled in Demi's lap, crying silently while Demi was holding the older girl close, stroking her hair and placing a light kiss on the small cut on Selena's wrist.

"It's going to be okay, Selena. I promise, I won't ever leave you again. Just please promise me you won't do this ever again. If I have to stay by your side twenty four-seven, I will. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I can't lose you, Lena." Demi was trying hard not to sob openly. "I love you so much, please don't do this. I can't live without you, don't you know that?"

Selena finally found her voice to speak. "Why did you come here, Demi?" Selena wasn't entirely sure she wanted to hear the answer, sure it would have something to do with her new friends and Demi needing something from her. Demi's response surprised her.

"I missed you."

An answer that was simplicity itself, yet held so much more meaning to it.

The singer continued brokenly, "I just.. I had to see you. And then I had this feeling in my heart that something was wrong, that you weren't okay. I ran three red lights, got a speeding ticket, begged/paid off an old lady for her plane ticket and fired my manager when she told me I couldn't see you, just to get here. I've never been so glad to get a ticket in all my life, just because it means that I didn't let it stop me getting to you. "

"So as to why I'm here, Lena, its because I need you. I know I messed up but I know that no matter what, something in my life will always bring me back to you. That's how I know we're meant to stay together forever. You have to promise me, you still haven't promised!"

Selena was silent for many minutes, and Demi was beginning to think the girl had fallen asleep in her arms. When Selena finally spoke, Demi jumped, startled and Selena tried not to giggle.

"I can't promise that Demi."

Demetria felt tears welling up again and were threatening to fall. "Why not?"

"Because what you did.. how you acted.. I can't just forgive and forget that. You've hurt me so badly, Dems. I'm so broken, and I don't know if I'll ever be whole again. And if you were ever to leave me again.. Demi I wouldn't make it more than a few minutes."

Selena buried her head in the crook of her best friend's neck. She couldn't cry anymore, but if she had any tears left, they would have been shed right then.

Demi's heart broke until she processed what Selena said. "So… If I never leave you, you'll be fine? You won't do it again?"

A single nod into her neck was all the response Demi received.

Demi smiled, having found the solution to their problems. "I have nothing to worry about then."

The older girl looked up into Demi's eyes, confused, so Demi clarified.

"If all it takes to keep you safe and happy is having me by your side, then Selena Marie Russo, I swear to you, I will never ever leave you again. I will gladly stay with you for the rest of my life if that's what it takes. It shouldn't be hard, we spend almost every waking moment together anyways right?"

The Wizard's star smiled for the first time in months. "Deal?"

"Deal."

--

End (yes I must put 'End' at the end of every chapter. But you love me!)


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